“I once gave my friend his braille book to him upside down and I got a punch in the shoulder. He was aiming for my face but I guess him being blind makes his accuracy terrible.”

“How to get in trouble #43: I was once caught staring at a woman's breasts, when she asked "why do you keep staring on my breasts?", I replied with "because your face is ugly”

“I would love to introduce you all to my girlfriend, she's.... Imaginary”

“If the girl of my dreams want a man with a hairless chest, I better dream of another girl”

“I have a friend who is a funny cook. Her food tastes funny and smells funny”

“the main reason they don't use seeing eye cats is because you will end up with the cat, and the blind person, stuck up a tree”

“I'm not mean, I just give people a good reason to hate me”