“Treat 'em like dogs, and you'll have dogs' works and dogs' actions. Treat 'em like men, and you'll have men's works.”

“Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs.”

“War don't ennoble men, it turns 'em into dogs. It poisons the soul.”

“Playing the game means treating your dogs like gentlemen, and your gentlemen like dogs.”

“I never met a man half so true as a dog. Treat a dog right, and he'll treat you right. He'll keep you company, be your friend, and never ask you no questions. Cats is different, but I never held that against 'em.”

“I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.”