“I am one of those people who thrive on deadlines. Nothing brings on inspiration more readily than desperation.”

“If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?”

“Blood is thicker than water, as people say. (But then again so is ketchup.)”

“Time can do all sorts of things. It’s almost like a magician. It can turn autumn into spring and babies into children, seeds into flowers and tadpoles into frogs, caterpillars into cocoons, and cocoons into butterflies. And life into death. There’s nothing that time can’t do. Except run backwards. That’s its trouble really, it can only go one way.”

“Mrs Chadwick used to say the same about my English, about going round the houses. But to be honest, I like going round the houses. And as for beginning at the beginning, the reason I never start there is that I don’t know where the beginning is, and that’s the honest truth. And anyway, I’ve never known anything in my whole life that ever started at the beginning. Things aren’t like that. They usually start about halfway through, or near the end, and then work their way backwards, that’s how must things are.”

“That anyone would want to be famous still mystified Colin. As TV had trained him to do, he associated the word with divorces and court appearances and rehab and jail time. He knew more than he wanted about all of those except rehab, and that was the one famous people blew off anyway.”

“im am who i am i can't change”