“He made small talk on the way about how he was abandoned as a child and will only rest easy once he is avenged. His name was Tom.”

“Every time Tom was tempted to turn back, he made himself think of his brother. Joe, who he sometimes thought had been sent to earth to make his life miserable, who had been a complete pain from the day he was born, who was always getting his own way and who he fantasized about killing at least once a week. Joe, who he really didn't think he could live the rest of his life without.”

“To talk about God, except in the context of prayer, is to take His name in vain.One may, indeed, talk to a child about God, but this is on a par with telling him that he was brought to his mother by a stork.”

“I want that child around for the rest of its life to remind Tom what a fool he is.”

“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”

“Tom just stood there, sword in hand, a huge grin on his lips. He stared at Medusa and Medusa stared at him, and in this moment that made his dreams come true, Tom could only think of one thing to say."How's it going?”