“Look, if I were straight, you'd be grandparents before your time. You should be relieved that I'm gay. Aren't you grateful?”

“Hey, is this what they call the gay agenda?" Spirit Wire called. "Gay boys indoctrinating two innocent, uber straight girls with dirty same-sex kissing?""What, are you feeling a little gay yet? No? Okay, let me kiss him some more and see what happens," Calais yelled back. I thought I heard Miss Pyro snort and giggle.”

“Listen, you," she hissed. "He's gay, he's my son, and I'm premenstrual. So don't—and I mean don't—even think about it." ~ Mom”

“Can I have money for a chocolate parfait at least? Or evenan iced mocha? Considering the heat and what I'm wearingright now—and considering that I'm about to get pummeledfor your sake—I think I should be allowed somecompensation. You should've seen that in the SupervillainHandbook in the 'Sidekicks: Who are They, and How are TheyCared For?' chapter.”

“I never thought that gay boys would be so dramatic about romance. And sooooo in denial. You wouldn't recognize common sense if it came up to you, bit you in the ass, and called you Sally. ~ Althea”

“You don't have to call me back," he said. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so fucking proud of you. Sweet dreams." ~ Peter”

“And so the Afternoon Weekday Date Scorecard went like this: gay boys, 3. Bedsheets, below zero. Vatican-enforced check on virginity, 10. Sometimes life just plain sucked beyond the suckiest of suckage. And I was out of clean bedsheets, too.”