“Don't you find any irony in a vampire sucking up?”
“There are vampires and vampires, and not all of them suck blood.”
“You've made vampire spiders?"Now it was her turn to wonder if her was serious. He should know that was't a possibility."They don't transform, just as animals and insects don't if they drink vampire blood""Can you imagine vampire mosquitoes? Or immortal, blood-sucking ants who make you feel all sexy when they bite”
“Dude, you're a vampire. EVERY day sucks for you.”
“Buck up, suck it up, don't fuck it up”
“From what I experienced from vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.”