“If citizens followed their leaders' example throughout history, the human race would have died out centuries ago.”

“I'm too tired to reign over vampirekind, let alone enslave the human race.”

“Live and everyone would die. Die and everyone would live. It seemed like such a simple choice. But nothing is ever as simple as it seems.”

“According to his dad's journal, vampires had been through some of the worst epidemics in history. And apparently, during the days of the Black Plague, their biggest complaint had been rotten "food".”

“Someday, my young friend, you'll find out that girls are actually people too. Just like you and me.”

“Vlad's heart sank into his stomach, then squeezed its way down his leg and popped out of the hole in his shoe, where it struck the floor and broke.”

“A crease found it's way onto Joss's forehead. Because he was certain that Sirus was wrong. Girls were more complicated than boys. Girls communicated in a language that only they understood. And Joss wasn't sure at all that he would ever understand them.”