“If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third.”

“If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic.”

“Vlad decided that teachers' ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren't careful, DEADLY.”

“Life is a killer on the other side of the stake. Especially if your a vampire or a slayer.”

“Getting staked had been a hard lesson in choosing one's friends wisely.”

“Vampires,after all,don't sparkle.”

“Dude, you're a vampire. EVERY day sucks for you.”