“Lesson #456 of high school life: Never, EVER trust an alarm clock.”

“Present company excluded, this looked to be the most pleasant detention ever experienced by mankind. Further proof that librarians should run the world-or a least be in charge of detention at Bathory High.”

“It never gets easier, missing you. And sometimes I wonder if it ever will.”

“Getting staked had been a hard lesson in choosing one's friends wisely.”

“Whoever had decided that school should start so early in the morning and last all day long needed to be hunted down and forced to watch hours of educational televison without the aid of caffine.”

“Nothing could convince Aunt Nelly to let Vlad stay home for the duration of the school year, which just goes to prove that parents and guardians don't care if they're sending you to face bloodthirsty monsters, so long as you get a B in English.”

“this is the best year ever because i am reading the chronicles of vladimir tod”