“It was a full Spears album, apparently, and each song was as ridiculous as the one before. They were catchy, yes, but so was the plague.”

“Apparently this month is full of surprises. No one is as dumb as I thought they were.”

“These albums were thick with babies, but my replicas thinned out as I grew older, as if the population of my duplicates had been hit with some plague.”

“Mind you, you don't get albums written about really good people like Gandhi or Nelson Mandela, do you? Good people's places in Heaven may be assured, but nobody's going to have a chart-topping album full of songs about someone's good deeds.”

“I think of you when I hear Rod Stewart's Face's album. Maggie May in particular. Everyone has a song, you have an album.”

“I referred albums to the more modern eight tracks. Albums came with sleeves which reminded me of clean underwear. Plus, the pictures were bigger, making it easier to see each follicle of Tony Orlando's shiny arm hair.”