“Work — once merely an annoying nuisance — has become an agonizing torture.”

“I realize it has become too easy to find a diet to fit in with whatever you happen to feel like eating and that diets are not there to be picked and mixed but picked and stuck to, which is exactly what I shall begin to do once I've eaten this chocolate croissant.”

“Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.”

“Bet I will become known as brilliant cook and hostess”

“I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.”

“Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?”

“Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse.”