“And then he did move, because my hardcover copy of Breaking Dawn whacked him full in the face, with all my vampiric strength propelling it.”

“We both looked down at the stake through my heart. Funny. I would have thought that should hurt more. From the look on the vampire hunter’s face, he thought it should hurt more too.”

“„You don't really want to do this. I'm a good vampire – I mean, like, a vampire with a soul, not that I'm really good at, you know, vamp-stuff. I'm not some monster. Heck, I've only been a vampire for less than a week! I've never even sucked blood” I ducked under the blade and backflipped away. „Really! You can ask my parents! My mum's a university professor, she's a very trustworthy character reference!”

“I was a vampire, and... someone was trying to call me?When my parents had said that not even death could pry me from my mobile phone, I'd thought they were joking. I wriggled around in the narrow coffin until I could reach the ringing handset.”

“You can’t hurt him. He’s an endangered species!” “Vampires are not endangered.” Van’s tone made it clear that it was his life’s work to rectify this regrettable situation. “No, not that,” Zack said dismissively. “He’s a Victorian!” “Brainwashed,” Van muttered. “Crazy,” Sarah proclaimed. “Steampunk,” I corrected with a sigh.”

“According to the date on Van’s driver’s license, he was seventeen. Somehow he’d looked a lot older when he’d been trying to cut my head off.”

“I ran straight into the wooden fence at the foot of the field. I was lucky that it had been a rail fence, rather than a barbed wire, or I would have shredded myself into vampire linguine.”