“He threw back his shoulders, a hunter preparing to stalk his prey across the night...and pulled an iPhone out of his pocket."You are kidding me." I watched as he tapped through screens with practiced swipes. "There's an app for that?”

“Dad pulled me into a brief hug. "You're still my girl. Are you hungry? We got, um--""Yes, I already met Toast." I sighed. "Please tell me that Marmalade and Sugar Puff aren't a rabbit and a hamster."He dropped his gaze sheepishly and mumbled, "Chinchilla.”

“Dad got me a ... guinea pig?""For breakfast," Zack said. "That's why I named her Toast. You aren't going to eat her, are you?""No!""Woot!" Zack hugged the cage to his chest, carrying it off in the direction of his bedroom. "I hope you don't want to eat Marmalade or Sugar Puff either!""Marma-- oh, never mid.”

“I stared hard at the sheep, trying to see if I could view the movement of its blood through its skin, or sense the beating of its heart, or see the aura of its warmth glowing against the night. It stared back at me, looking resolutely like an ordinary sheep. I guess I wasn’t that sort of vampire. Or maybe sheep didn’t have auras.”

“We both looked down at the stake through my heart. Funny. I would have thought that should hurt more. From the look on the vampire hunter’s face, he thought it should hurt more too.”

“You can’t hurt him. He’s an endangered species!” “Vampires are not endangered.” Van’s tone made it clear that it was his life’s work to rectify this regrettable situation. “No, not that,” Zack said dismissively. “He’s a Victorian!” “Brainwashed,” Van muttered. “Crazy,” Sarah proclaimed. “Steampunk,” I corrected with a sigh.”

“And then he did move, because my hardcover copy of Breaking Dawn whacked him full in the face, with all my vampiric strength propelling it.”