“I yelled, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow me – or better yet, my parents.”

“I was a vampire, and... someone was trying to call me?When my parents had said that not even death could pry me from my mobile phone, I'd thought they were joking. I wriggled around in the narrow coffin until I could reach the ringing handset.”

“The next evening found me having breakfast with a ridiculously hot guy. It was typical of my life that this would only happen when said guy was tied up.”

“„You don't really want to do this. I'm a good vampire – I mean, like, a vampire with a soul, not that I'm really good at, you know, vamp-stuff. I'm not some monster. Heck, I've only been a vampire for less than a week! I've never even sucked blood” I ducked under the blade and backflipped away. „Really! You can ask my parents! My mum's a university professor, she's a very trustworthy character reference!”

“We both looked down at the stake through my heart. Funny. I would have thought that should hurt more. From the look on the vampire hunter’s face, he thought it should hurt more too.”

“Dad pulled me into a brief hug. "You're still my girl. Are you hungry? We got, um--""Yes, I already met Toast." I sighed. "Please tell me that Marmalade and Sugar Puff aren't a rabbit and a hamster."He dropped his gaze sheepishly and mumbled, "Chinchilla.”

“I ran straight into the wooden fence at the foot of the field. I was lucky that it had been a rail fence, rather than a barbed wire, or I would have shredded myself into vampire linguine.”