“The next evening found me having breakfast with a ridiculously hot guy. It was typical of my life that this would only happen when said guy was tied up.”

“I was a vampire, and... someone was trying to call me?When my parents had said that not even death could pry me from my mobile phone, I'd thought they were joking. I wriggled around in the narrow coffin until I could reach the ringing handset.”

“I yelled, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow me – or better yet, my parents.”

“Dad got me a ... guinea pig?""For breakfast," Zack said. "That's why I named her Toast. You aren't going to eat her, are you?""No!""Woot!" Zack hugged the cage to his chest, carrying it off in the direction of his bedroom. "I hope you don't want to eat Marmalade or Sugar Puff either!""Marma-- oh, never mid.”

“We both looked down at the stake through my heart. Funny. I would have thought that should hurt more. From the look on the vampire hunter’s face, he thought it should hurt more too.”

“„You don't really want to do this. I'm a good vampire – I mean, like, a vampire with a soul, not that I'm really good at, you know, vamp-stuff. I'm not some monster. Heck, I've only been a vampire for less than a week! I've never even sucked blood” I ducked under the blade and backflipped away. „Really! You can ask my parents! My mum's a university professor, she's a very trustworthy character reference!”

“I ran straight into the wooden fence at the foot of the field. I was lucky that it had been a rail fence, rather than a barbed wire, or I would have shredded myself into vampire linguine.”