“„You don't really want to do this. I'm a good vampire – I mean, like, a vampire with a soul, not that I'm really good at, you know, vamp-stuff. I'm not some monster. Heck, I've only been a vampire for less than a week! I've never even sucked blood” I ducked under the blade and backflipped away. „Really! You can ask my parents! My mum's a university professor, she's a very trustworthy character reference!”

“Sorry I've been such a dick and I'm completely freaked out by your claim to being a vampire, but I'd really like to have sex with you again.”

“Dear Abby,My boyfriend won't suck my blood. I've offered, I've cajoled. I've even begged, even though begging is totally humiliating and degrading because I'm so afraid that if he doesn't, he's going to die. Oh, and did I mention he's a vampire? No, really, the undead kind.Signed,Confused in Texas.Dear Confused:What the Fuck!?”

“I'm really about as good at relaitionships as I am at being a vampire. I'm kind of a smart but surprisingly inept kind of girl.”

“She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know how vampires are made?""Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much ... ”

“You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.”