“At issue here is the question: "To whom do I belong? God or to the world?" Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.As long as I keep running about asking: "Do you love me? Do you really love me?" I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with "ifs." The world says: "Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much." There are endless "ifs" hidden in the world's love. These "ifs" enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world's love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain "hooked" to the world-trying, failing,and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart.”
Explore This Quote Further
Quote Analysis:
In this quote by Henri J.M. Nouwen, the author explores the topic of belonging and the struggle between aligning oneself with God or with the world. Nouwen reflects on how easily we become controlled by the opinions and conditions of the world around us, seeking validation and love based on arbitrary standards set by society. The author emphasizes the futility of seeking our true identity in the conditional love of the world, highlighting the importance of finding a deeper, more fulfilling connection with God. This quote challenges readers to reconsider where they place their sense of belonging and worth, urging them to move away from the bondage of worldly expectations towards a more fulfilling path of spiritual connection.
Finding True Belonging in a Conditional World
Henri J.M. Nouwen's words still hold immense relevance in today's world where we often find ourselves seeking validation and worth in the opinions and approval of others. In a society that places value on external achievements and material success, it is easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of seeking approval and validation from the world. However, Nouwen's message reminds us that true belonging and fulfillment can only be found in our connection to God, rather than relying on the conditional love and expectations of the world. In a world that constantly demands more and places conditions on our worth, it is crucial to remember that our true value lies in our relationship with the divine.
Examples of Usage
Henri J.M. Nouwen explores the struggle between belonging to God or the world in his writings. Here are some examples of his thought-provoking insights:
- "A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed."
- "Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves."
- "The world says: 'Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy.'"
- "The world's love is and always will be conditional."
These passages from Henri J.M. Nouwen's work highlight the challenge of seeking validation and fulfillment from the world rather than from a higher spiritual power.
Reflection Questions:
In this passage, Henri Nouwen reflects on the struggle many of us face in trying to find our true identity and worth in the world. As you ponder on these words, consider the following questions:
In what ways do you find yourself seeking validation and worth from the world around you? How does this impact your sense of self-worth and contentment?
Are there specific "ifs" that you tend to base your worth on, such as appearance, achievements, or material possessions? How can you begin to shift your perspective and find a sense of worth beyond these conditional factors?
Reflect on the idea of belonging to God versus belonging to the world. How might your life look different if you truly believed that your identity and worth were rooted in God's unconditional love?
Consider the concept of addiction to the world's conditional love. Are there areas in your life where you have felt trapped by the need for external validation? How can you begin to free yourself from these shackles and find true fulfillment in God's love?
Take some time to journal or reflect on these questions as you explore the complex interplay between seeking validation in the world and finding true belonging in God.
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