“The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.”

“One day if I do go to heaven...I'll look around and say, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.”

“A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.”

“Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?”

“The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.”

“There are more of them than us.”

“You were born to be a player. You were meant to be here. This is your time. Now get out there and take it.”