“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.”

“The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns.”

“The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.”

“History lesson, folks: The tax system we have today—the one we've come to know and love—began ninety-four years ago as a (drum roll, please) flat tax! The monstrosity you see today is a flat tax on income after nearly a century of very imperfect evolution. At first, only a very small percentage of Americans were asked to pay income tax. In fact, that’s how they sold it to us—as a tax on the rich! Well, that all changed with World War II. The cost of the war effort led to an expansion of those who paid federal income taxes—and we were off to the races. The tax code was flattened again, if you will, in 1986. Since that time it has been amended 16,000 times. We now have more than 67,000 pages of statutes and regulations—which helps explain why, last year, nearly two-thirds of all tax filers had to seek professional help with their tax return.”

“When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.”

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”