“The Japanese are easily influenced,Italian's are infectious,And German's are German's wherever they go.”

“In this world . . .It's Heaven when:The French are chefsThe British are policeThe Germans are engineersThe Swiss are bankersAnd the Italians are loversIt's Hell when:The English are chefsThe Germans are policeThe French are engineersThe Swiss are loversAnd the Italians are bankers.”

“Italy: Germany, Germany. Germany is a really really nice place. Even though I'm your prisoner, you give me food, and it doesn't suck like English food. Sausages with cheeses always taste so good, it'd be heaven for a dog - yeah that's Germany. Tell me how is it you Germans are so robust? You're crushing me with your intimidation, my fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear, your women terrify me. Is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer and then bust it on somebody's head? Please don't come to my place in large mobs, German tourists are scary. Even the girls that are from Germany are more rugged than I am. Yahoo!”

“Of course, my Christmas is (so much more) gorgeous and romantic (than Germany's)!! And unlike the rest of the world, we leave wine behind for Santa Claus!""So Santa-san is delivering gifts to children while driving under the influence . . . ?”

“China, you run in there and bust out some crazy Shaolin kung-fu, then I'll easily capture them when they're all tired and beat up. It will mean a fight to the death. . .for you!”

“If you lay a finger on our pirates again, I'm going to kick your ass!”

“Germany:We've called this conference to solve the world's problems, not to fight about the problems of our past. And since I'm the only country who seems to know how to run a meeting we'll follow my rules from here on out. Eight minutes each for speeches, no chit chat about side deals and absolutely no going over the time limit. Now if you want to go, make sure you're prepared and raise your hand but do so in a way that does not mock any salute of my country's past.”