“Did the priest you mentioned tell you about them? Or did he send you out to blunder along on your own?They're an odd lot. Half of them are soldiers, or priests in disgui- Ah.Is your priest with them?" "No!" He snapped. Ping. He jumped. He'd forgotten the bell. "I mean, I don't know". Ping. "There is no particular priest."Ping. He bit his lip and fell silent.”

“Do you think my husband and his soldiers will be overly upset with me?"The priest broke into a wide grin. "I'll stand by your side when we find out," he said. "I would be honored to escort you to your husband."The priest took hold of Johanna's arm. She didn't notice. "I expect them to be a little upset at first," she explained. "But only just a little.""Yes," he agreed. "Tell me, lass. When was your last confession?""Why do you ask?""It's preferred to receive absolution before you meet your Maker.”

“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?”

“The Evil Enchanter appeared in a cloud of smoke. He waved his arms to fan away the fumes, and when he quit coughing, he said, "You've come to rescue no one. Now that you're here, you shall marry me." He waved his arms once, and a priest appeared in a cloud of smoke. After everyone quit coughing, he turned to the priest and said, "Marry me!"The priest said, "But I don't know you.""No, no, no!" said the Evil Enchanter. "Marry me to the princess!""Oh," said the priest. "That's different.”

“You don't need words to talk to HIm. Words are for the priests. He doesn't care for words. He knows only your thoughts and your dreams.”

“If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" "No", said the priest, "not if you did not know." "Then why," asked the Eskimo earnestly, "did you tell me?”