“When I was younger I was attracted to gay guys and they were "attracted" to me. I don't exactly know why...But it turned out the gay guys were the ones holding all the cards, both physically and emotionally, and I've certainly paid the price for making that mistake. And so have all of the guys I've dated since.”
“Guys hung out all the time. It didn’t mean they were gay. But when you are gay, you automatically think everybody knows and wonder if you’re safe.”
“The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire. Pretty much all my crushes have been one or the other. One guy, actually, was both big and a vampire, but he turned out to be gay.”
“I don't get it, if there was a closet full of gay guys, then why would any of them want to "come out of the closet?”
“You are totally kissable. If I were a guy or gay or bi or something I would absolutely kiss you.”
“Why don't you marry another gay guy? That was fun...”