“Democracy is the worship of jackals by jackasses.”

“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”

“The worshiper is the father of the gods.”

“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey-cage.”

“Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.”

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.”

“I know of no American who starts from a higher level of aspiration than the journalist. . . . He plans to be both an artist and a moralist -- a master of lovely words and merchant of sound ideas. He ends, commonly, as the most depressing jackass of his community -- that is, if his career goes on to what is called a success.”