“Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.”

“I am only an average man, but by George, I work harder at it than the average man.”

“You have evolved from worm to man, but much within you is still worm. Once you were apes, yet even now man is more of an ape than any of the apes.”

“Darwin may have been quite correct in his theory that man descended from the apes of the forest, but surely woman rose from the frothy sea, as resplendent as Aphrodite on her scalloped chariot.”

“Linda continued stubbornly, “Evolution can’t be true, because if humans evolved from apes, then why are there still apes?”“Frankly, Linda, it is exactly that kind of bone-headed statement that demonstrates a complete ignorance of evolutionary processes by the staggeringly misinformed. Humans did not descend from apes, humans and apes shared a common ancestor millions of years ago. Humans and apes are distant cousins, with chimpanzees as our closest cousins sharing roughly ninety-eight percent of our genome, who together share an even earlier common ancestor with gorillas.”“I am not descended from a monkey,” Linda stated hotly. “Humans are created in the image of God and appeared on Earth in our present form. We did not evolve from pond scum!”“You are free to believe that and persist in your ignorance, but as the renowned evolutionary biologist and zoologist, Richard Dawkins, wrote in A Devil’s Chaplain—”“Aha!” Linda burst out, “there you go, admitting it’s the work of the devil.”

“The vocal cord will be eliminated by a process of evolution, as was the tail of man when he came from the ape.”