“Yes, we are in a real pickle. Welcome to the pan-galactic insane asylum.”

“Welcome to Level 2. Or, as it is sometimes affectionately referred to by the Friends: God's Little Joke.”

“Real patience is not the same as waiting impatiently for something for a long time. Patience is having patience with patience.”

“Why does there appear to be so little magic in the world these days? It is because people have stopped believing in it or lose touch with it as they grow up. It is because we have become so sophisticated and lost our ancient and natural roots. It is because religion, science and education have taught us that magic does not exist. That even supposing it does exist – which to many is far too big an 'if' – then it couldn't possibly work. Their self-fulfilling sophistry complete, they then turn round and say 'There you are you see, there is no magic in the world, just as we said.' And we and the world are all the poorer as a result of this. I mean, what are we left with? Santa, the Easter Bunny, Harry Potter and the Tooth Fairy.”

“These technical impediments [... things like ignorance, impatience, unexamined assumptions, habit ...] get in the way of what would otherwise occur or develop quite naturally, such as wakefulness, awareness, inspiration and infallible intuition. Things that should be our birth right. This preliminary stage, then, we call learning how to learn.”

“When it came to dealing with feral dissidents, there was only one unwritten law that superseded all others: "An' it secure a conviction, do what thou wilt.”

“Is that a banana in your lunch box, or are you just pleased to see me?”