“On the way out to the car, Philip turns to me.“How could you be so stupid?I shrug, stung in spite of myself.“I thought I grew out of it.”Philip pulls out his key fob and presses the remote to unlock his Mercedes. I slide into the passenger side, brushing coffee cups off the seat and onto the floor mat, where crumpled printouts from MapQuest soak up any spilled liquid.“I hope you mean sleepwalking,” Philip says, “since you obviously didn’t grow out of stupid.”

“Philip says to fear me. Do you have any idea how afraid I am of him?”

“Philip stood with the tip of a sword pressed into Mr. Beaufort’s throat. I saw another sword on the floor. Neither gentleman looked toward the door. Philip looked perfectly in control, his sword bending the skin of Mr. Beaufort’s neck without piercing it. When he spoke, though, his voice sounded so fierce I hardly recognized it. “Tell me what you did to her.” “I made sure you wouldn’t want her anymore.” “I will always want her,” Philip said in a quiet, furious voice. “Always! There is nothing you could do to change that.” Mr. Beaufort sneered. “Then why do you want to know?”“Because I would never make her say the words. And because I want to know how much I should enjoy running you through.”

“At least I graduated," he muttered, stabbing the key in and unlocking the door. I sucked in a breath. "I think dying was a little out of my control, thank you very much.""If you say so". He shrugged, but I saw the corner of his mouth turn up into a faint smile.”

“Philip. I have never been outside of England. I've never even been to London. Do you know what I would give for your experiences? How could you possibly think you would bore me?" He didn't answer, but there was such a look of delight in his eyes that I had to ask, "Why are you looking at me like that?" "You called me Philip. For the first time.”

“But that's typical of me. "This is going to end in tears," I tell myself every time I balance a cup of coffee on the upholstered arm of the chair I'm sitting on. And then, lo and behold, the cup topples and even before it lands, I tell myself, "Told me so!" Not to spell out, or spill out, one of the metaphors of my life, but I always do the stupid thing and then I do it again. I never learn.”