“So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker.”

“Why don’t we just say it already?” He smirked. “I mean come on now.”I eyed him carefully not knowing where to step. “What is it you think we want to say?”“That we love each other. I kick myself every time I stopped myself from saying it. And I know you love me and that’s all that matters,” he said, pulling me close instead of away this time. We stared at the water in a shared silence.My mind wished I could say the same thing, but knowing if I wanted to was the problem. Did I even know how?”

“It was always the same feeling of sadness that washed over me when I drank. I never understood why I hadn't realized that if i stayed away from liqour, I might not be so depressed all the time about him. Maybe it was a sick form of torture that i really enjoyed.”

“He pulled the gun from his waist, running it along my cheek and back down to my lips. I blinked back the tears at sick game. He finally stopped the gun at my temple, my pulse fighting against the pressure of the cold metal of the gun.“Do you think you are a good person, Kendall?”“No, not at all,” I said, swallowing down the misery of my honest answer.“Really?” he asked, one eyebrow lifting in confusion. “Are you afraid to die?”I wished I could spit in his face for making everything so hard. I wished he would just pull the trigger and end it already. But a small part of me was begging and pleading internally that he wouldn’t shoot me.“No, I’m not afraid to die,” I admitted, I closed my eyes and the tears fell quickly. “I’m not afraid of much in life. I’ve seen too much to be scared.”He let out a sigh. I opened my eyes. He pulled the gun away from me.“Well, damn. How the hell am I supposed to kill someone so miserable?”I looked away. Even in death I was pitiful.”

“It's life. Everyone is destined for the same ending. Why are you going to hold a grudge at the timing?”

“Oh get over yourself, so you can kill people, I could shoot you in your face if I wanted to, anyone can do what you do!”

“Kenny rested his hand on my leg, patting it delicately. His thoughts staying just that, thoughts, as we drove in silence, back to my prison of paradise, back to the one place I knew I could be happy, yet miserable, all in the same day.”