“Stalking the dusty curio-aisles ofsome crazy Asian market,“Jezus,” you sayto your buddy,“we should ask that dudewhich aisle the fucking Gremlins are on…”

“A moose whats into a convenient store and asks the lady who works there,"Where are the potatoes?". She says, "Aisle 8,". He goes to aisle 8 and there are no potatoes!”

“Sarah Aisling: I can’t defend against these charges because I can’t afford a litigator. But I can’t afford a litigator because I’ve been charged.Judge: You should have had insurance against contract suits.Sarah Aisling: I did.Judge: So what’s the problem?Sarah Aisling: They canceled my insurance when I filed the claim.Judge: So sue them!Sarah Aisling: I can’t, I don’t have a litigator.Judge: That’s very cute, Mrs. Aisling.”

“If I can't wait for you at the end of an aisle on your wedding day, I'll wait for you in heaven.”

“Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with Fuck Her Hard and be done with it? I stood in the "Family Planning" aisle of the grocery store, trying to decide which condom brand was more effective. Family Planning…give me a break. How many people came to this aisle because they were planning a family? They came to this aisle to AVOID planning a family. --Carter”

“I know that look, Blake. You are a drowning woman, and the only way out is down the aisle.”