“Tanqueray & Tonic: It’s like you…only better!”

“Only fascists drink white wine!”

“You the drunkest white man I
ever seen!” one says,which you take ashigh praise,”

“Riiiight,” you interrupt, “I was just checking to make sure thatwhat me and my friend dowas actually none of yourgoddamned business…”

“And after he drives away your buddy says, “A fuckingJaguar? Seriously?” “Honestly,” you say,“he deserved to have his fence smashed upjust for that.”

“Stalking the dusty curio-aisles ofsome crazy Asian market,“Jezus,” you sayto your buddy,“we should ask that dudewhich aisle the fucking Gremlins are on…”

“They don't give blue ribbons to second-place beers.”