“You the drunkest white man I
ever seen!” one says,which you take ashigh praise,”

“And after he drives away your buddy says, “A fuckingJaguar? Seriously?” “Honestly,” you say,“he deserved to have his fence smashed upjust for that.”

“Only fascists drink white wine!”

“so your uncle tellsyour brother,“There’s morechairs in theshed.” And your brother says,under his breathso almost no one can hear, “Well,what if I don'twant to sitin the shed?”

“He didn't say he was a lawyer...I said he was.” And the cop says “Uh…”

“Riiiight,” you interrupt, “I was just checking to make sure thatwhat me and my friend dowas actually none of yourgoddamned business…”

“Drink up,” he says,“being a little drunkmakes everythinga little bitbetter.”