“WHO LIKES HOT DOGS”

“Magnificent phrases like 'inductive reactance' flow effortlessly from the lips of guys who can't cook hot dogs or find the flashing blue light in a K-Mart store.”

“If you're opening a hot dog stand, you could worry about the condiments, the cart, the name, the decoration. But the first thing you should worry aout is the hot dog. The hot dogs are the epicenter. Everything else is secondary.”

“What are you doing?""I'm putting them into the envelopes, just like you asked.""Fold them hot dog style so they fit.""Fold them- what?""What's the matter with you? You're folding them hamburger style, the short way, and they don't fold that way.""What are you talking about?"I took a piece of paper and folded it lengthwise. "Hot dog style, see? Looks like a hot dog." I folded it crosswise. "And hamburger style. Looks like a hamburger.""It looks like a piece of paper.""And you look like an idiot.”

“Okay," Kincaid said. "Anyone have any questions?""Why do they sell hot dogs in packages of ten but hot dog buns in packages of eight?”

“President Bush, have a hot dog with me.”