“Is it really 'pro bono' if a lawyer takes your case in exchange for explosives?-Captain Hartung”

“Where's your sense of adventure?It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.-Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn”

“Do me a favor, doc?""Anything, Captain.""Stop italicizing the word 'Captain' when you say it.""Go easy on the fourth wall there, sir."-Captain Andreyasn & Doctor Bunnigus”

“Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain.Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body?See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?-Sergeant Schlock & Captain Tagon”

“The way you blunder from one catastrophe to the next, it's a wonder the whole galaxy doesn't hate you.The galaxy is a big place, General. You provincial military types don't get far enough out to really see that.-General Tagon & Captain Kevyn Andreyasn”

“There are customers we serve, and customers we service.-Captain Andreyasn”

“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.""Not guilty.""Also, it's not very nice to lie in court.""But it beats extradition.”