“Yes, Uncle Ryan! You said you wanted me to make you an uncle. Poof! You're an uncle of a fluffy puppy." - Lilianna Gregor”

“Uncle alone in the house with the children said he'd dress up to amuse them. After a long wait, as he did not appear, they went down and saw a masked man putting the table silver into a bag. 'Oh, Uncle,' they cried in delight. 'Yes, isn't my make-up good?' said Uncle, taking his mask off. Thus goes the Hegelian syllogism of humour. Thesis: Uncle made himself up as a burglar (a laugh for the children); antithesis: it WAS a burglar (a laugh for the reader); synthesis: it still was Uncle (fooling the reader).”

“We shall trespass upon your aunt and uncle's hospitality only a little longer.'You will, will you?'Yes,' said Dumbledore simply, 'I shall.”

“Does something amuse you?' asked Uncle Montague.'I was merely reminding myself, Uncle, that I am getting too old to be so easily frightened by stories.''Really?' said Uncle Montague with a worrying degree of doubt in his voice. 'You think there is an age at which you might become immune to fear?”

“Are you threatening me, sir?” he said, so loudly that passersby actually turned to stare.“Yes, I am,” said Mad-Eye, who seemed rather pleased that Uncle Vernon had grasped this fact so quickly.“And do I look like the kind of man who can be intimidated?” barked Uncle Vernon.“Well...” said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving magical eye. Uncle Vernon leapt backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. “Yes, I’d have to say you do, Dursley.”

“She said you were probably plastic and Uncle Kevin said he’d give you a feel and let her know and then Uncle Joe punched him in the shoulder and said the only thing he’d feel is his A-S-S getting kicked if he tried.”