“A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.”

“If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”

“Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed... We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.”

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

“If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”

“Dentopedology is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it. I've been practicing it for years.”

“Sign O' The TimesOh yeahIn France a skinny manDied of a big disease with a little nameBy chance his girlfriend came across a needleAnd soon she did the sameAt home there are seventeen-year-old boysAnd their idea of funIs being in a gang called The DisciplesHigh on crack, totin' a machine gunTime, timeHurricane Annie ripped the ceiling of a churchAnd killed everyone insideU turn on the telly and every other storyIs tellin' U somebody diedSister killed her baby cuz she could afford 2 feed itAnd we're sending people 2 the moonIn September my cousin tried reefer 4 the very first timeNow he's doing horse, it's JuneTimes, timesIt's silly, no?When a rocket ship explodesAnd everybody still wants 2 flySome say a man ain't happyUnless a man truly diesOh whyTime, timeBaby make a speech, Star Wars flyNeighbors just shine it onBut if a night falls and a bomb fallsWill anybody see the dawnTime, timesIt's silly, no?When a rocket blowsAnd everybody still wants 2 flySome say a man ain't happy, trulyUntil a man truly diesOh why, oh why, Sign O the TimesTime, timeSign O the Times mess with your mindHurry before it's 2 lateLet's fall in love, get married, have a babyWe'll call him Nate... if it's a boyTime, timeTime, time”