“The secret of success was to screw up as late as possible. Then look good in a coffin.”

“Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep; for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the latter.”

“What did you learn in school today,Dear little boy of mine?What did you learn in school today,Dear little boy of mine?I learned that Washington never told a lie.I learned that soldiers seldom die.I learned that everybody's free.And that's what the teacher said to me.That's what I learned in school today.That's what I learned in school.”

“No, it wasn't an accident, I didn't say that. It was carefully planned, down to the tiniest mechanical and emotional detail. But it was a mistake.”

“I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.”

“Write down five things you love to do. Next, write down five things that you're really good at. Then just try to match them up! Revisit your list once a year to make sure you're on the right track.”

“Denial is the secret sauce in this town,” he said. “It’s the flavor that holds all the other ingredients together. Here’s what I tell the newly elected: the truth is gonna get out—it always does—but it’s gonna blend in with all the lies.” The Senator twirled a hand in the air. “You have to deny each lie and every truth with the same vinegar. Let those websites and blowhards who bitch about cover-ups confuse the public for you.”