“I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.”

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”

“The cold night air outside was like a slap in the face. If I wasn't in Naughty Girl Martini Land, I would have sobered instantly. Unfortunately, I was deep in Naughty Girl Martini Land. So deep, I was skipping dazedly through the Naughty Girl Martini forest and leaping over the Naughty Girl Martini streams, completely oblivious to everything.”

“I should like to elbow aside the established pieties and raise my martini glass in salute to the mortal arts of pleasure.”

“Never more then two, I told her once. I repeat an old joke about why martinis are like a women's breasts; one is never enough and three are too many”

“Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch.”