“Cajun stomp?""You heard me, swamper. And keep your hands to yourself.”

“What's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain."The volhv's eyes widened. He raised his hand at me. "Well you don't look... female... in your pants.""That's a hell of an insult. Did you think of it all by yourself or did you ask your god for help?”

“Keeping you safe keeps me in shape.”

“Damn Jeremy, you need to work on your vocabulary. So many good names to call me and the best you could come up with is bitch? Give me the salamander before you hurt yourself.""Suck my dick...whore!”

“Either you can work on both, or you can keep thinking with your balls. It's your choice. Say 'pop.'""Pop?""That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass. If you stick it back up there again, there is nothing I can do about it. This is the only lecture you'll ever get from me."I headed for the door.”

“Congratulations," he said, his voice dry. "You finally managed to find a woman as tragically noble as yourself. I didn't think one existed.""I'm not tragic."Kaldar held up his hand. "Spare me. Some children are born wearing a silk shirt; you were born wrapped in melancholy. When they slapped you to make you cry, you just sighed heavily and a single tear rolled from your eye." He dragged his finger from the corner of his left eye to his cheek. " Your first words were probably 'woe is me.'""My first words were 'Kaldar, shut up!' because you talked too much. Still do.”

“Have your vote. But know this: if you come to remove me, come in force, because if you try to separate me from him, I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake. My aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die.”