“I'm a substitute mom.""You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.”

“I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.”

“Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?”His eyes flashed. “Got any to spare?” I could’ve picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right.”

“This it the hand that slapped Aunt B, here you can touch it since you're my best friend”

“Hold your horses. I'm coming."..."From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously."The snow swam out of focus. "Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.”

“Hard to protect your food, with your ass anchored." He saluted me with the doughnut. "When you're ready to talk, call me. You know the number."He walked out.”

“Are you happy?When I can get out of my own way.And the rest of the time?The rest of the time I'm in a state of silent panic. I'm afraid it will end. I'll lose him. Lose everything.I've done that. Lost everything. It's a bitch.”