“Sure, I didn't weigh a hundred and ten pounds, but my narrow waist let me bend and I could break a man's neck with my kick.”

“I don't hit women. Ever. But Marissa makes me wish that, for about ten seconds, I weighed a hundred pounds less and had tits. Not only is her interruption untimely, now shes' going to screw up the rest of my night, too.”

“If it weren't for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy.”

“I welcomed the circling sharks but they avoided me as if knowing I preferred their teeth to the chains around my neck my waist my ankles”

“I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be.”

“Also, I sort of let my appearance go, to the point where I was maybe ten to seventy pounds overweight...”