“The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.”

“It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.”

“I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn’t want to be late.”

“What do you mean fainted?Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.”

“Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most of it.Now that was an interesting thought. Heh.”

“Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.”

“Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'....'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.”