“Why the hell would anyone be eating at the Grease Trap? I’ve seen flies die from buzzing by that place.” Andrea crossed her arms. “Oh, I don’t know, probably because your career just ended and you are depressed and don’t feel like breathing, let alone going out, but your body still needs food and that’s the closest place to your apartment and they don’t mind if you bring a giant dog with you.” “What, you couldn’t find a Dumpster that was closer?” Andrea glared at me. “What are you implying?” “The Dumpster would have better food in it.” “Well, excuse me, Miss Fine Dining.”

“You want me to go back into that house protected by a magic sticky note?”“Don’t even start,” I told him. “It’s working. If it weren’t working, you couldn’t drag me into that place.”“What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?”“No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an a-hole!’” I headed for the house.“On yours or mine?”“On yours.”“Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.”

“Come back to me. Don’t leave me all alone. Don’t die on me, you stupid sonovabitch. You goddamn fuckingidiot. I told you to stay out of the damn fight! Why the hell don’t you ever listen? I fucking hate you. I hate you,you hear me? Don’t you dare die on me, because I need to kill you with my bare hands.”

“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned."Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?""I don't know, do you think it will answer?"We peered at the bamboo."I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said."Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."Andrea stared at me."You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?""Where do you even get this shit?”

“What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?”“No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house.“On yours or mine?”“On yours.”“Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.”

“Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others...I don’t mind being a bit like you. I hope you don’t mind being a bit like me.”

“Derek, you just don't say things like that to a woman. Keep going this way and you'll spend your life alone.""Don't change the subject. Andrea is cool. And she smells nice. It will be okay."Apparently I was supposed to sniff people to determine their competence. "How do you know?"He shrugged. "You just have to trust her.”