“You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.”

“You don't cause problems. An unpiloted vampire causes problems. You cause catastrophes.”

“Why me?" He said finally. "Are you on some sort of mission to fuck up my life?""I try my best to avoid you.""You're doing a hell of a job.""I honestly don't mean to cause you problems.""You don't cause problems. An unpiloted vampire causes problems. You cause catastrophes.”

“Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.”

“But that's the problem with causing offense, isn't it? You don't always know when you do.”

“If you listen to the political discourse in America today, you would think that all our problems have been caused by the Mexicans of the Chinese or the Muslims. The reality is that we have caused our own problems. Whatever has happened has been caused by isolating ourselves or blaming others.”