“I'd like to add her initial to my monogram...”

“Becky Renee Apple - can you believe her mom named her that and then had all of her sweaters monogramed with 'BRA'?”

“That night I wasn't reading your palm...I was monogramming my fingerprints on the sidewalks of your lifeline.”

“Seriously, who has monogrammed pajamas?”

“I'd sit at my kitchen table and start scanning help-wanted ads on my laptop, but then a browser tab would blink and I'd get distracted and follow a link to a long magazine article about genetically modified wine grapes. Too long, actually, so I'd add it to my reading list. Then I'd follow another link to a book review. I'd add the review to my reading list, too, then download the first chapter of the book—third in a series about vampire police. Then, help-wanted ads forgotten, I'd retreat to the living room, put my laptop on my belly, and read all day. I had a lot of free time.”

“At that, the initial mrowr pfft pfft I'd felt transformed into I will cut a bitch.”