“The fact that you use the term "cunt" in the same breath as "sexist", shows that you display the same muddled, fucked-up thinking oan this issue as you do oan everything else.”

Irvine Welsh

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“You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt.”


“Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fuckin junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total fuckin embarrassment tae the selfish, fucked-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.”


“Fuckin failures in a country of failures. Its nae good blamin it oan the English fir colonising us. Ah don't hate the English. They're just wankers. We are colonised by wankers. We can't even pick a decent, vibrant healthy society to be colonised by. No..we are ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. The most wretched servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat intae creation. Ah don't hate the English. They just git oan wis the shite thev got. Ah hate the Scots.”


“Society invents a spurious convoluted logic tae absorb and change people whae's behaviour is outside its mainstream. Suppose that ah ken aw the pros and cons, know that ah'm gaunnae huv a short life, am ah sound mind, ectetera, ectetera, but still want tae use smack? They won't let ye dae it. They won't let ye dae it, because it's seen as a sign ay thir ain failure. The fact that ye jist simply choose tae reject whit they huv tae offer. Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fuckin junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total fuckin embarrassment tae the selfish, fucked-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.Well, ah choose no tae choose life. If the cunts cannae handle that, it's thair fuckin problem. As Harry Launder sais, ah jist intend tae keep right on to the end of the road...”


“The Victim was a chronic fuck-up. People Like her always seemed to hang out with The Poisonous Cunt. In turn, she kept their self-esteem low and made sure that they stayed in psychic immiseration. She was a curator of dead souls.”


“This is from "Marabou Stork Nightmares".Bernard's Poem:Did you see her on the telly the other daygood family entertainment the tabloids sayBut when you're backstageat your new faeces auditionyou hear the same old shite of your own selfish volitionShe was never a singera comic or a dancerI cant say I was sadwhen I found out she had cancerGreat Britain's earthy northerncomedy queentakes the rand, understandfrom the racist Boer regimeSo now her cells are fuckedand thats just tough tittyI remember her actthat I caught back in Sun CityShe went on and on about'them from the treeswith different skull shapesfrom the likes of you and me'Her Neo-Nazi spellit left me fucking numbthe Boers lapped it up with zealso did the British ex-pat scumBut what goes roundcomes round they sayso welcome to another doseof chemotherapyAnd for my partit's time to be upfrontso fuck off and dieyou carcinogenic cunt.”