“Selfishness is the only real atheism; unselfishness the only real religion.”

“The real drawback to marriage is that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colourless. They lack individuality.”

“Any religion with a sword is not a religion; it is merely an army of assassins! A real man of God carries only flowers in his hands!”

“Your only real problem is mortality! No religion can solve this problem, but science can do!”

“We are all tricked. We think that religion tells us what to believe; but it doesn't, it is telling us what not to believe. Atheism is not the absence of religion; atheism is the most undiluted form of religion: it tells us not to believe in anything at all. Atheists hate the religious and the religious hate atheists, but this is only a deception! We are all deceived! There is only one boat and we are all in it! All at the same time!”

“Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position”