“It’s hurting my soul”

“Well, to be honest, I was planning to woo you with my banana nut bread, but that shit ain’t happening now. So all I have left is my delicious eggs.”… “It’s really good, but you’re not wooing me.”“Oh, I’m wooing … It’s all about the stealth. You don’t realize it yet.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to people not wanting me at their parties.” I pushed to my feet. The stars seemed to twirl a bit with the movement. “No bigdeal.”

“It’s just a cookie, sweetheart.”

“Rules?”He nodded as he peeled the third egg. “There’s not that many. No shutting me out. It’s just you and me and no one else.” He paused, and myheart was jumping. “And finally, you keep looking damn sexy in my shirts.”

“You’re joking, right?”“No. I’ve been living here for a while—like a couple of years with my roommate. You know, the fucktard who put poor Raphael outside.”“Hey!” the guy yelled from inside their apartment. “I have a name. It’s Señor Fucktard!”

“It’s the combination of walnut and chocolate. You mix that together and it’s like an explosion of sex in your mouth, but not as messy. The only thing better would be those teeny tiny Reese’s Cups. When the dough is warm, you plop those suckers in…. Anyway, you just need to try it. Take a small bite.”