“Sorry Raphael. My friends are complete, fucking….” He looked up.I tried to jerk back inside, but it was too late.Cam saw me. “Assholes…” He did a double take. “What the…?”Would dive bombing into my apartment seem weird? Yes—yes it would. So I went with a very lame, “Hey…”

“You’re joking, right?”“No. I’ve been living here for a while—like a couple of years with my roommate. You know, the fucktard who put poor Raphael outside.”“Hey!” the guy yelled from inside their apartment. “I have a name. It’s Señor Fucktard!”

“The moment we stepped out into the hall, Cam's apartment door flung open. Ollie appeared, a cellphone in one hand and Raphael wiggling in the other. "Smile!" he shouted as he snapped a picture on his phone. "It's like my two kids are going to prom.”

“Do you have ovaries?" Jacob asked. I shot him a look. "Yes" He slid down the back of the couch and sat beside Brittany. "Then how are you not intrested?”

“Am I going to have to carry you? If so, it would complete my badass knight-in-shining-armor act with you today.”

“Did he only wear a shirt during class? Oh my God, he seriously lived across the hall. Jacob was going to flip... and probably move in. That would be fun. I really liked Jacob, but I had a feeling he'd borrow my clothes.”

“Sleep just go to sleep.Cam lived across the hall?You need to get up early. Go to sleep.How in the world was that possible? He was everywhere I went.Go to sleep.And why did he have a pet turtle and did he seriously name it after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because that was kind of funny.Morning's going to come soon.Did he only wear a shirt during class? Oh my God, he seriously lived across the hall. Jacob was going to flip...and probably move in. That would be fun. I really liked Jacob, but I had a feeling he'd borrow my clothes.Go the fuck to sleep.”