“I was one hundred percent not in control of this situation. This girl fucking owned me right now. I sat on that bed waiting for her to give me the time of day. I didn't necessarily like this feeling, but I suffered through it... for her. I convinced myself that I'd probably suffer through pretty much anything for this girl.”

“F*ck, Cassie. What do you want to hear? How much I hate myself for getting drunk that night and losing the only girl in my life I've ever trusted and truly loved? How I called Dean fifty times a day for weeks begging him to tell me how I could get you back? Do you want to hear how fucking weak and pathetic I think I am for not being able to tell her no that night, when I knew what was at stake? His eyebrows pinched together and his jaw tensed as his emotions spilled out into the night air. "Do you want to hear how I tried to talk her out of keeping this baby so that it wouldn't fuck everything up? How I begged her not to keep it, told her I'd pay for everything, I'd drive her there and give her money after it was all over, just to please not to this to me. And then how much of an asshole I felt after that too? Who tells someone that?”

“I'm going to make myself a promise right here and now. In Johnny's honor. I promise to live each day to the fullest. I promise to listen to my heart and then work through my fears to follow it. I promise to realize what my dreams are then take the steps necessary to make them a reality. I promise to be trut to me. Not what someone else wants me to be, but what I want.”

“I am so fucking in love with you I can't see straight. I don't love her. I'll never love her. But I fucked up and now I have to pay for it. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you," he said. "Or losing you.”

“Being on that pitcher’s mound, it’s the one thing I’m really good at. The one thing I haven’t fucked up. And when I’m on the field, everything else fades away. You know?” He turned to look at me, his eyes craving understanding. I smiled and he continued. “It’s like my mind is clear when I’m out there. It’s not about my mom or my dad or the stupid shit I’ve done. It’s about me, the ball, and the batter. It’s the one place in the world where I feel like I’m in control. Like I have a say in what happens around me.”I stopped my head from nodding in agreement once I realized that I was doing it. “I feel that way when I’m taking pictures. Anything that I’m not seeing through my lens fades away in the background. And I get to frame my picture any way I choose. I get to dictate how it looks. What’s in it. What isn’t. Behind that lens I have complete control in how things are seen.”He smiled, his dimples indenting his cheeks. “You get it.”

“Don't," she snapped and I stopped. No fighting back, no response, no arguing. I simply turned my ass right around and sat back on her bed. If I had a tail, it would sure as shit have been tucked between my legs.”

“I never realized how exhausting it was to turn women away. It was one thing to hook up with them and then call it a day, but to be off the market completely was something I'd never dealt with before. To put it simply, girls don't like being rejected, especially if it's because of another girl.”