“By Gad,' exclaimed Welsh, 'I’d manage a nunnery for £500!''I daresay you would, but a suicidal, and possibly homicidal, lunatic isn’t a nunnery.'Welsh looked at his friend with diminished respect.”

“Get thee to a nunnery.”

“We do not know how life began.”

“They give an "X" rating to flicksWhere sex is the center of kicks,While violence and warAre considered fit forSmall children no older than six.”

“Our Welsh teacher thinks he is young. He tells us that the Welsh for skiving in town is ‘mitchio yn y dre’.”

“We asked our Welsh teacher, Mr Llewellyn – who is young, to tell us the Welsh sex words. The Welsh word for sex is ‘rhyw’. It sounds like coughing. He said that, in general, Welsh-speakers use English words. When pressed, he gave us a couple of examples to show us why this might be. ‘Llawes goch’ means ‘red sleeve’. ‘Coes fach’ means ‘small leg’. The phrase would be: ‘Put your small leg in my red sleeve’.”

“Why are you putting on lip gloss, my daughter?” Dad asked. “Trip to the library? Trip to the nunnery? I hear the nunneries are nice this time of year”…“Is this true, Kami? Are you going out on a date?” Dad asked tragically. “Wearing that? Wouldn’t you fancy a shapeless cardigan instead? You rock a shapeless cardigan, honey.”