“I wish I was like that. More carefree.""Anyone can be. People aren't carved out of marble. We're all works in progress. The trick is to define ourselves, rather than let outside influences define us.”

“Then I tug the toaster from the wall and swing the appliance around my head like a lasso. I'm not aiming to knock her out. I'm aiming to knock off her fucking head.”

“Like people would ever want to read books on an electronic screen.”

“Back in August, I wrote a post about the supposed race to the bottom with ebooks, refuting some nonsense written by an establishment bonehead.This meme won't die. People are still convinced that new ebooks are going to be priced at ten cents, and writers will starve, and this will cause a second Great Depression where banks will close and people will be forced to buy Kindles with food stamps, and then the earth will enter another ice age where all the bunnies will freeze to death.”

“Chico was a small-time hustler and big-time loser who liked to bet the ponies and hit women. He was more successful at the latter.”

“I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I’m okay in that respect.” “Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals.”

“God, you’re so hot, Irena. When are we going to get together, have ourselves a litter of little kiggens?”“On the first of never, Andy. And they wouldn’t be kiggens. They’d be pities.”